How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
