is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
