on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
