I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
