why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
