the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
