That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
