while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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