I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
