i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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