he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
