He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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