I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
