I am puke
Pappa wants mamma naked
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
