It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
