You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
