so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
