I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
