you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
