She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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