This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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