tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
