Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
