So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
