Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
