i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
