im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
