i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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