She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
