Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
