Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
