I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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