her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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