Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Welp...herpes.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
