just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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