I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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