Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
