I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
