The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Floor bacon is actually really good
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
