I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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