Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
