smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
