I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
