remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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