i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
