Is it normal to miss your booty call?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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