if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
