didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm going to jail i love you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
