This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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