shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's just like the Real World with babies
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
