So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
