Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
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I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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