better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
